I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
