We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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