Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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