Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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