Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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