And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize