Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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