I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
