i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize