I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
