Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
