my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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