why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
