my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
