She's JV to your varsity
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
