He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
