you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
