Those balls look pretty dangerous.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
