Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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