The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
