dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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