....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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