I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize