I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
