Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize