There was a lot of him and a little penis
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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