but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
