thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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