I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
