Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Rumble strips road head = magical
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
