I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
