Yo dont text me then not text me
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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