I heard we made out
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
