he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
