Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
