Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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