she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
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