So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
