My boss' voice literally gives me gas
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
