You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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