Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.

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(312): View more from Illinois

Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.

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(301): View more from Maryland

About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?

(1-301): View more from Maryland

hey.....beach week happens

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(613): View more from Ontario

Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?

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(910): View more from North Carolina

dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?

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(585): View more from New York

I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.

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(817): View more from Texas

I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.

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(541): View more from Oregon

The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.

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