you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
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