id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I would fuck him just for his dog
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
