You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
