Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
