Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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