You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
