i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Im part way to drunk.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
