My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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