we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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