Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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