That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
