You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
