I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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