You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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