they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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