Just fell off a train. Bad.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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