She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
