Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
