I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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