I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize