whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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