If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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