oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
