I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
