You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
