At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I am spending my child support on dildos
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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