its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
