he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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