i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
