Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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