He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Someone came in the potted fern
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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