You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize