i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
