My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize