better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I can't put those talents on a resume
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
